Fatigue

I've been in a funk since completing the ITT race on August 16th. Immediately following the race, I suffered a short-term flare; however, some anti-inflammatories and lots of sleep brought on a speedy recovery with only minor discomfort. Since then, I have been hit with the forceful blow of energy-sucking general fatigue. Today was my first time running since the ITT, and I made it 2K before I returned home - mainly because of the 26 degree temperature, but also because my legs felt like lead from the start. It was terribly discouraging. In some semblance of a rebuttal, I have been hitting the gym frequently since August 16th to build strength and change up my training with the intent of moving past Boredom Boulevard back to Passionate Parkway. Alas! This fatigue has been plaguing me far too long, and it's hard to treat these lazy days as "recovery" from an internal injury when my personal critic ceases to silence her persistent drone: Is this laziness or fatigue? Am I just unmotivated? Give yourself a break; it's not like many healthy people are doing what you're trying to achieve! But is this laziness or fatigue?

I am perpetually trying to understand the tug-of-war between mental and physical exhaustion. I am curious as to the validity of this so-called lethargy that makes thinking seem like a strain. I feel as if I am constantly fighting my body's drive to sleep, which makes remaining awake all the more a chore. I planned to run 36K this weekend, but sleep got the better of me each day, and by the time I awoke, the heat of this glorious weekend was in full bloom - as if to remind us to not renounce its existence given the rainy summer. I would retire to the gym instead for five sets of varied exercises that would challenge my muscles and provide the satisfaction I miss from running. The workouts were two hours each and I could get lost in the variety of my training plan. Within 10 minutes of exertion with weights, I predictably begin my customary yawning routine - long drawn out reflexes spaced 5-10 minutes apart, acting as nagging reminders of how tired I feel.  

"But I NEED to run!" quips a critical voice.

Is this what most ambitious sufferers of AS endure? Is it common to engage in a daily cognitive battle, not sure of whether the determined "what I want to do" side or the opposing realistic "how I feel" position will be victorious. It's tiresome to be party to, much less read about.