Tired

I ran 25K yesterday through the towns of Ajax and Pickering. The weather could not have been better; the last 9K was run in the rain, but I never mind the rain as the moisture helps keep my asthma at bay. My stomach was cramping around 14K and continued to do so throughout the run; I was hesitant drinking my liquid fuel because it did not feel that it was getting quickly absorbed. After drinking any fuel, my stomach still felt heavy with liquid sloshing around even after 15 minutes had elapsed.

Today, I am feeling physically fatigued. I was supposed to run 30K, but given my energy level, I will likely weight train at the gym and throw in some plyometric exercises to train my nervous system. I am growing suspicious that my body has unspecified physical limits, which if pushed beyond, will result in an arthritic flare and immediate symptoms of fatigue. It's just an assumption right now, but a recent email from a US physician describing his AS symptoms leads me to believe that this assumption may not be far from reality.

It honestly disappoints me to think that no matter how hard I push myself physically, I am servant to the limits imposed by my arthritis. Not knowing those limits is frustrating; worse yet, who knows if those limits vary daily or under certain conditions. I realize I should feel grateful that I am still physically able to engage in strenuous activity (remember my mental curse of invincibility); however, as a perfectionist who wants to challenge her performance beyond any comfort zone, I hate feeling defeated by intrinsic forces (which I foolishly tell myself I should be able to control). If this sounds like the afflictions of a Type A personality, you're correct; not an easy burden to bear in the least.