Flare

The last two days have been physically challenging; my AS started to flare on the evening of Sunday April 13th. My assumption is that it was likely triggered be two significant stressors experienced during the previous week: a legal matter as well as a very touching, though inspiring, memorial service. I required assistance turning in bed to get comfortable, getting in and out of bed, going to the washroom, and getting dressed. There is something very humbling about requiring assistance for accomplishing tasks that seem so simple...that are typically very routine for an able-bodied individual. Pride has no place here; when you need help, you accept it. I'll admit that I try to do as much as I can independently before seeking assistance from others. It allows to me to determine my physical limits in my current state. I am not fond of being fussed over, so I usually mask the extent of my pain with a smile and a "I'm okay" attitude. Those who know me well are intuitive enough to see clearly through my facade, and in the end I am always thankful that I have friends thoughtful enough to willingly try to ease some of my suffering. Stubbornly, I insisted on going to work; after all, I consider myself to still be functional and capable of putting in a good 8 hours despite the objections and concerns of colleagues as they observed my visible discomfort as I walked hunched over and shuffling from one meeting to the next. The Indomethacin taken that evening failed to fulfill promises of easing the inflammation in my lower back. My body rebelled against the activity I forced it to endure during the day and I awoke with more stiffness and pain the morning of Tuesday April 15th. Standing is quite painful now. Sitting feels even worse. Every rotation of my body as I try to move around results in very audible cracks and snaps. I finally submitted to the pain and decided that I would work from home today. So here I sit clothed in comfortable pyjamas attached to a TENS machine, sipping on warm herbal tea, taking my Indomethacin on prescribed cue, and engaging in frequent stretching breaks and warm showers in an attempt to recover enough to venture into work tomorrow. I feel hopeful, but I am a stubborn one.