Toronto Half-Marathon Point in Time

I am anticipating a pace of 6:10/km for the Toronto Half-Marathon, which will place me at the finish line around 10:10 am. Hard to say how realistic that is, but it's worth aiming for. I've already run the route, I know my markers to anticipate how close I am to the finish line, and I have a fabulous support team geared with two Canon 40D cameras to record what will likely be my last race for a while.

I am eager to complete this race upright and smiling, as they say. I am not very focused on my speed, but I have that naging anxiety that is concerned with not performing a personal best. I question why I can't just run the race to enjoy the race...why the journey is diminished with the resulting numbers that allow one to judge their competence at a sport. I am not an elite athlete, so why do I place such ridiculous pressure on exceeding my own expectations? It's silly, really. Obviously, I am competitive with myself...always trying to outperform my last performance. But where is the tipping point? Everyone has a limit to their performance. Where is mine? I don't feel I have reached it with respect to running. I feel I could do better, but whether I really want to is another question.

Training for a full marathon this year proved not be as important as other things that occured over the last 365 days...things requiring more attention and time. Things like refocusing attention on emotional, spiritual, and psychological well-being, which had taken a back seat to my attempt to perfect my physical strength with countless hours in the gym. A critical turning point early in the year, and an accumulated stack of life's challenges, forced me to rethink everything that was important to me. Sometimes, one's life is tossed around as a test of inner strength, resilience, and perseverence; afterall, a great mariner is not made on calm seas. Now that the storms have passed, I have emerged more confident in implementing strategies to care for myself and assert my needs.

This may appear as the rant of an anxious runner, but it ties into the psychological strategies I will use during my run to push me through the difficult parts of the race. Mentally preparing oneself for a race is similar to moving through the challenges of life, except the course is more predictable. We all want to get to the finish line, preferably upright and smiling, despite the taxing journey. How we perceive and respond to those challenges is what matters the most, and will contribute to the energy exerted to defy tests against our character. As I race the Toronto Half-Marathon on October 14th, I will be thinking about all of the hardships I have overcome in life, the person I have developed into, the intensity and courage required to develop into that individual, and how my performance (regardless of time) is not an indicator of who I am.